During my second year at Bible School, we began to realise that the house with its large garden was becoming a burden and both Martie and I felt that it would be better to sell it so as to be completely free in serving the Lord. The monthly instalments were also a heavy burden to carry.
We decided to buy a Park Home and to place it on the smallholding of my uncle and aunt where we had previously lived in the caravan, the smallholding where I was saved. We had a look at a Park Home that was advertised in Johannesburg and were quite delighted with it. It was about 8 metres long and possibly about 2.5 to 3 metres wide. It was not a caravan; it was very similar to an ordinary home. It had two bedrooms, bathroom and toilet, a kitchen and living room. Then of course you could connect it to a water and electricity supply. It also had an air conditioner at each end.
We agreed on the price with the owner, but told him that we could not buy it before selling our house, for we needed that money to pay for the Park Home. To this he also agreed but after a couple of days his wife phoned and informed us that somebody had in the meantime bought it for cash, so it was no longer available. We were floored because we had been so certain that God had led us to buy it and could not understand why He allowed this to happen. All we could to do was to take the matter back to Him in prayer. Having prayed, I opened the Word and read from the book of Proverbs; chapter 16 verse 3 reads as follows: “Trust in the Lord in all that you do and He will see that your plans are carried out”. I told Martie what I felt the Lord had said to me so we just accepted that.
After a few days, the lady phoned us again. She was very embarrassed and said that the cheque for the Park Home had been dishonoured by the Bank and so the transaction had fallen through. I thought for a moment, then replied: “Well, I don’t know whether we still want the Park Home but let us think it over and let you know.” The next day I returned her call, making a lower offer than what we had previously agreed to pay and was delighted when both she and her husband accepted it. Since they were for some or other reason in a hurry to have it removed from their premises, they also asked whether we would be willing to have it transported to our premises straight away saying they would trust us to make payment once our house was sold. We agreed to this and our new home was transported and sited on my uncle’s smallholding.
Then came a period of stress as weeks went by, without us finding a buyer for our house. We did not enlist agents to sell it, because we wanted to save the commission to invest in the work of God. (Commission was then paid by the seller.). What we did was to type out advertisements and put them on the windows of shops and on notice boards. Time dragged by slowly and we just did not find a buyer. At that stage there was a dip in the economy and it was very difficult for prospective buyers to obtain a loan. I mentioned our need at the Bible School and everybody prayed for that for quite some time.
During that period I had a very bad attack of flu and on a particular night, slept in a separate room so as not to infect Martie and Frans. During that night, I slept very little and spent much time in prayer about this problem we were facing. I often went on my knees in bed and called out to God to provide for us. The next morning I went to the smallholding to see that the Park Home was set up level and to attach its veranda, connect the water pipes, lay on the electricity and do everything else that needed to be done. While working, I was praying all the time, lifting up my heart towards the Lord saying: “Lord, please provide, we cannot go on like this; the owner wants to be paid and we hate to be in debt”. At 9 o’clock that morning, as I was working outside, suddenly it was as if the heavens opened up above me. I had a tremendous experience of the presence of God. Almost audibly the Lord said within my heart that the battle had been won and that the buyer was on his way. I went back to Martie that evening, rejoicing, telling her of what had happened.
The next day I went to the Bible School and shared this experience with my fellow students, telling them that I was certain that the Lord had provided a buyer. Another two days passed and then, on the Thursday of that week, when I got home that afternoon, Martie told me that there had been a couple that had looked through the house and were very keen on buying it. The husband, however, had said that he was going on a hunting trip during the weekend and would return on Monday. We left it at that but on returning home from the Bible School on Friday, I was delighted to find him there waiting for me. He was so anxious to have the house that he had cancelled his hunting trip and was ready to proceed with the transaction. We signed the papers and on the following Monday, handed them in at the Bank.
Suddenly things were moving at a tremendous pace and in an incredibly short time he got the loan, the house was sold, we moved into the Park Home, got the money and paid for our new home. Once matters are settled in the spiritual realm, what happens down here below follows without any hitches.
Nobody wishes for or desires trials like these, but the Lord knows how important they are in order that we may get to know Him in a more intimate way. This is how He teaches us Who He really is and this is how He causes our faith to grow.
GOD SOMETIMES STRETCHES OUR FAITH LIKE A SPRING, BUT NEVER TO BREAKING POINT!
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The more challenging side of attending Bible School, was as that of trusting God for our daily needs. Since the Bible School had no accommodation for married couples, the Board had decided that we were to continue living in our own home as before and provide for our own needs . This meant that we were thrust into a lifestyle of trusting God for the instalment on our house , rates and taxes, electricity and telephone expenses, food, clothes, medical and travelling expenses and for whatever other needs might arise.
This was quite a challenge for we had been receiving a salary that had covered our monthly needs. Now, all of a sudden that fell away. The Mission also had very clear rules in regard to living a life of faith. We were not allowed to approach anybody for material assistance or even to mention our needs to others. We were to pray to God to provide and to leave it to Him. This was something we had never done before.
Martie had not been earning a salary for quite some time, for she had wanted to be home to nurse our son, so our income had not been sufficient to allow us to save up anything. We entered the Mission without any financial reserves.
My mother was very excited about our entering into mission work; I think she had probably been praying for it for a long time and consequently was quite at peace with us doing so. My dad, however, was against it. He saw it as a tremendous risk and that he might land up in a situation where he would have to bail us out as, we would surely be getting into financial trouble.
His fears were not unfounded for, from the very first month that we were without our salary, we had insufficient funds to cover our expenses. In some way or other my parents got to know about this and my dad offered to lend us some money to see us through. This of course was very generous of him but when I prayed about it, I felt I could not accept his offer. If I was to start borrowing money right from the outset, where would I end up after the two years of Bible School training? Secondly, I felt that if I was unable to trust God for the needs of this life, how could I trust Him for my need of eternal life? Certainly temporary, short term needs were a much smaller issue than eternal needs.
Martie and I decided that that was definitely not the way we would be going and we got down on our knees and prayed a simple prayer, saying: “Oh God, please provide for our needs”. That was exactly what the Lord did. Money started flowing into our home from so many different sources. Sometimes we found an envelope containing a couple of banknotes, thrust through underneath our front door. Then again, money would come by post, or be paid into our banking account. My dad then had second thoughts and decided to give us a small sum of money to see us through, instead of lending it to us. God used different means but we had to take the first step by digging in our heels and taking a firm stand. That is how we launched out into a life of faith, a life of trusting God day by day. During later years there were again periods during which we earned a salary, but for most of our lives Martie and I, together with our two sons, were living this life of faith and, may I say, God never ever let us down.
That we were tested all along the way cannot be denied and the testing often related to our children. As you may have experienced, children just suddenly become sick, and if they have a stomach ailment, you have to get to the doctor and get medicine as soon as possible or they may not make it. When we enlisted as students, going into a life of trusting God, I decided that the time had come to close down each and every account we had, for, not having any guaranteed income, we felt it would be unfair to suppliers to run up debts with them. We would rather do everything on a cash basis. So our accounts with both our doctor and with the pharmacy were terminated.
On a certain night our little boy, Frans, suddenly developed severe diarrhoea and I had to get medicine on prescription for him urgently from our pharmacy. That was in the evening, after normal business hours.
I took all the cash I had with me, thinking it would be quite sufficient, but when the pharmacist handed me the medicine and the invoice, I discovered that I was short. I said to him: “Excuse me; I will have to go and get some extra money to pay you.” He immediately whispered: “No, no, Ben, don’t worry, we can just open your account. It really is no problem at all.” That was long before the days of auto banks and he knew it would be difficult for me to raise the money at that time of day. I however mumbled: “No thank you, the account has been closed; I want to pay you in cash.”
I went out to the car, sat down behind the steering wheel and started praying to the Lord, saying: “Lord, what now? Now I need a miracle because I must have this medicine for Frans is very, very ill”. As I prayed these words, it came to my mind that we had been putting all our small change into the cubbyhole, so I dug into it and recovered two hands full. Having counted out the required amount, I put it into a plastic bag and went back into the pharmacy. By that time there were many other people, all waiting to be served and because we were living in that area, many of them knew me well and greeted me. The pharmacist was surprised that I was back so soon and looked on as I took out the bank notes, silver and last of all the bag of bronze coins and laid it on the counter. The poor man was so embarrassed that he did not even think of counting the money. He just swept it all off the counter into a drawer or something and pushed the invoice as well as the medicine towards me. I looked up into the faces of the amused onlookers with a big smile, rejoicing because of what had transpired between me and the Lord and the fact that He had again found a way to help me out. I also knew that many of those people were living in debt and might not even have been in a position to pay their pharmacy accounts. So I left and got home to Martie, not only with specially anointed medicine but with a fresh testimony; medicine for the soul.
Once we ran out of meat. Martie came to me and showed me that we actually had just one short piece of sausage left and said that our deep-freezer was absolutely empty. We decided to cut the piece of sausage in two, have half of it that day and the other half the next day. The following morning, to our surprise, an uncle of mine living on a smallholding outside of Pretoria, phoned me and told me that they had slaughtered a heifer and would be bringing us some meat that afternoon. We did not know how much it would be but were astounded when he brought so much that we could fill our deep-freezer and had meat for many months to come.
A third incident that comes to mind occurred when the Lord met my need for a watch. In those days the “Roamer” and “Lanco” watches were the best. I had a very good “Roamer” but as time went by, its lifespan ran out and it could no longer be trusted to reflect the correct time of day. At that time watches were expensive items which were bought from jewellery shops. I reported the matter to the Lord, saying: “Lord, you know that they are very strict at the Bible School and that we need to be on time in everything we do. I need a watch for this purpose. Won’t you please supply in this need?” Two days later, we as students had an evening meeting with the Director’s wife. Before she spoke to us on the spiritual topic for that evening, she said: “Is there anyone here that is without a watch, for someone has donated a wristwatch to the Mission and I don’t really know what to do with it.” I put up my hand hesitantly for I thought there might be others having the same need, but no-one else responded and my heart leaped with joy as this brand new wristwatch was handed to me.
As I then gave testimony of how I had prayed for the Lord to provide for me, this incident became a double blessing, first of all to me, but also to this dear lady, our students’ “mother” and to the other students who were also living by faith and had all sorts of needs for which they were praying and trusting God. These small answers to prayer in which one can so clearly see God at work on one’s behalf, can sometimes have a tremendous impact on one’s faith.
GOD PROVIDES IN THE SPARROW’S DAILY NEEDS, SO HE NEED NOT FLY AROUND WITH A RUCKSACK FILLED WITH YESTERDAY’S CRUMBS!
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The Mission had its own Bible School in an upper-class suburb of Pretoria. It was quite a nice, fairly modern building. One wing had rooms for the men and another for the ladies. Then of course, there also was the dining room, kitchen and a hall where we could all gather together, and a separate hall where the lectures were presented.
The lecturers consisted of two to three members of the Mission and two ministers from churches in Pretoria that would come in once a week to lecture to us. The curriculum centred on the Word of God and consisted of a comprehensive study of the Old and New Testaments, Exegesis, Homiletics and Church History. We also studied biographies of Christian leaders of the past like Dr Andrew Murray, who had been a very prominent leader in the Dutch Reformed Church in SA, and of White South African missionaries who had left their spiritual imprint on the country. Biographies of African leaders that had made an impact during their lifespan, were especially interesting and inspiring. In this category we studied the lives of Apollo, the Apostle to the Pygmies and of Samuel Morris (Kaboo) who grew up in the Ivory Coast, found the Lord and eventually ended up at a college in the United States where he stirred up considerable missionary fervour amongst the students. As regards internationally known missionaries, we were blessed by reading of the faith and endurance of men such as Hudson Taylor, George Müller and William Carey. In addition to these spiritual subjects, we were also instructed in the Zulu language to equip us for our work amongst the African people.
When I entered the Bible School we were eleven students from very diverse backgrounds; seven men and four ladies; all but me unmarried. Three came from abroad, from Britain. Two were graduates; the rest matriculated. We had this one thing in common: we felt called by God to serve Him within this Mission as missionaries to the African people. We really appreciated one another and were joyful and full of mischief.
I really enjoyed the Bible School from the very outset. By that time I had had a considerable amount of teaching on God’s Word and had studied many Christian books, so I came there with a sound basic knowledge, but also with many questions and I was really enjoying exploring the Word to acquire a deeper insight. Another factor that caused me to appreciate the opportunity to attend the Bible School, was that I had been doing a secular job for quite a number of years and to me, to be set free from my daily responsibilities and to be able to concentrate on the study of God’s Word 24/7, was a gift from heaven, a gift which very few other Christians would ever have. There was also a strong emphasis on spiritual growth and development which I appreciated, because I realised that there were many areas in my life that needed the touch of God and this was my opportunity to get those in line with His will.
Wherever you find students, you find debate. There were ongoing discussions between us on every conceivable Biblical topic. We were forever debating one portion of Scripture or the other, the more so because we came from so many different ecclesiastical backgrounds, backgrounds ranging from ultra conservative, reformed, solemn to the very “free,” “happy-clappy” Pentecostals and Charismatics. There was a healthy interaction between us, a challenging of one another’s viewpoints. You would sometimes see a student walking away from such a debate, frowning, deep in thought, realising that his or her standpoint was not as cut and dried as proclaimed from the safety of the pulpit. It was great fun.
To complete the picture, let me just explain that the Mission actually had two Bible Schools. There was a need for this, because many of the African people that enlisted to do the work of God, had had almost no education at all. Some could hardly read and write. It would have been counter-productive to accommodate those that had ten to fifteen years of education with the almost illiterate in the same class. For some the teaching would have been way above their heads and for others very, very boring. For that reason there were two different Bible Schools.
Right from the start, both groups of students were instructed in practical evangelisation. Every Saturday morning we went over to, what can be called the Mission Farm, outside Pretoria where the Bible School for the African people was. There we all gathered in a hall, were edified or challenged by a message brought by one of the leaders, had a prolonged time of prayer for all facets of the Mission’s work, and had lunch together.
Then, the whole lot of us would get into a bus and go out into the African townships surrounding Pretoria to take the Word of God to the residents. For the first two hours we went house visiting, going out in pairs; two men together and two ladies together. Each team consisted of one White and one African student, the African translating for the White when his turn came to speak, for many of the people in the townships could not speak either English or Afrikaans. So in this way there was a healthy interaction between the White and African students. We got to know one another very well and deep bonds developed as we worked together Saturday after Saturday.
Come 4pm, we would normally converge at a certain point to which we had agreed before, and hold an open air meeting. We connected up a car battery, amplifier and two loudspeakers. The loudspeakers were just hung onto two nearby poles. These open-air meetings were totally new to me. We would start off by singing songs and inviting nearby people to the meeting and once we had a good group gathered, we would minister to them. One of us would give our testimony of salvation. That meant that we would explain who we were before we found the Lord, how it happened that we came to the point of accepting Him and how He had changed our lives since. That was a great opportunity for recently converted students to seal their faith by continually giving testimony, for in Revelation 12:11 it is written that the martyrs overcame the devil by the Blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
Another student, usually one of the ladies, would then deliver a short message to the children, for there were always scores of them attending, either listening open-mouthed to all these wonderful stories or bumping and pinching one another to the annoyance of the poor learner preacher. Next, another student would preach a message for the adults. While this was in process, the rest of the team would be standing around, watching out for drunks and other trouble makers and of course (hopefully) also praying for the preacher and the audience. In closing, an invitation would be made to accept Christ as Saviour. It was quite thrilling to see people actually coming out and giving their lives to the Lord and it was a tremendous stimulation to us in this ministry to which God had called us.
Since we returned to the same spot week after week for perhaps two to three months, many of the people in the area got to hear the message over the loudspeakers. In the beginning some would just turn their backs on us and pretend not to be listening, but many of them were gripped by the Word and after some time they would come up to the fences of their homes and listen attentively. Later on they would leave their premises and join the audience and then, in the end, there would be some of them that would come to us for assistance to accept the Lord Jesus as Saviour.
By the time the meetings closed, it was dusk. We then got into our bus to return to the African Bible School and from there travelled by mini-bus to our Bible School in Pretoria. For me that was not the end of the journey for I then still had to drive home some 8km by scooter, which, in winter, was quite a trial.
On such outreach afternoons we would always be accompanied by one of our lecturers. He (or she) would do house visitation with us and be present during the meetings. In the course of the following week he would sit down with every student, discuss the message he had brought and point out the weak and strong points. If a student needed help to compile his message, he would ask him beforehand to jot down the main points and would then go through it with him and assist him to put everything properly together.
Very soon after the opening of the Bible School, it was planned for us not to attend lectures for a full term, but to do an outreach (hold a campaign, as we called it) in one of the nearby townships. In this too, we were accompanied by one or two of our lecturers. This was a tremendous challenge and a wonderful opportunity to get to know our ministry.
What we did was pitch a tent in a park in a township for Coloured people near to Pretoria in which to hold the meetings. After having pitched the tent the rain came down in torrents all night long. I returned there the next morning on my own for the other students were for some reason or other, otherwise occupied. When I got there, I found the inside of the tent to be one huge pool of mud for we had pitched it on the lowest part of the park. Since we were planning to start with the first meeting that very night, I realised that something drastic had to be done. I borrowed a wheelbarrow and shovel from nearby Christians and for the next two hours carted loads of mud out of the tent, then rolled up the sides for the wind and sun to complete the job. When the other students arrived just after lunch, the floor was dry and the outreach could proceed.
The campaign followed very much the same pattern as our Saturday afternoon outreaches. However, after the afternoon’s open air meeting we did not go home but gathered at the tent, prayed for the evening meeting, ate some sandwiches and had a cup of tea or coffee from flasks we had taken along. By that time the first people had arrived and we had to commence with the evening service.
The setup within the tent was quite primitive, especially the benches. The next day we cut grass to make a mat towards the front of the tent where the children and some of the women could sit. We did have some sort of pulpit and of course microphones, an amplifier and loudspeakers. The evening meetings were attended by non-Christians as well as by Christians who were interested to learn more about the Word of God or that had brought friends and relatives along, trusting that they would be saved. The meeting followed very much the same pattern as the students’ open air meeting, starting with a long period of worshipping the Lord in song, then a message for the children or for Christians and then the main message. These evening services often lasted up to 3 hours.
We did not see as much fruit on our efforts as we would have wanted, but were deeply touched by the need of the people. The abuse (I prefer to call it use) of alcohol had devastating effects on users and their families alike and we saw so many living corpses, breathing bodies whose spirits were locked up in dungeons of darkness. We pleaded with them, prayed for them, admonished them but all to no avail for they had consistently, for many years, over and over made the choice of selling their lives for the short-lived pleasure of intoxication, and now their evil master had them in his grip of steel. I returned to the Bible School the next term with new determination to be equipped and filled to all the fullness of God’s mighty power in order to be able to help those that were in this pitiful state.
“Be the saviour of those who are given up to death, and do not keep back help from those who are slipping to destruction.”
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Still I did not respond immediately because it was a tremendous step to take to resign from my work and trust God for an income, go to a Bible School for two years and then go out at His behest. So some time went by. Then the African Evangelistic Band invited us to another camp conference that they would be holding in the Komatipoort area and Martie and I decided to go there.
By that time I was fully convinced that I had to resign and go into this Mission, but I said: “Lord, I will go, but on one condition: you will have to speak to Martie and she has to make her own decision. I cannot just tell her to go with me into this. She will have to be in it with all her heart for we will definitely encounter many obstacles along the way and I don’t want her to blame me when things get tough, to blame me for taking her into something which she didn’t want to do.”
That was how things were when we attended that meeting. I had told Martie in detail all about God’s call to me and was waiting for her to hear from God and come back to me. At the camp she met up with some Christian ladies who were also attending and shared our vision with them. They prayed with her and in the end she was quite certain that this call was of God and that she was willing to give her life to the Lord for this purpose and accompany me on this new journey.
MARTIE’S ACCOUNT OF OUR CALLING TO FULL-TIME SERVICE
A while after the Africa Evangelistic Band camp we attended at Carolina, Ben told me that the Lord had spoken to him and was calling him into full-time service, but some time then went by during which he did not press the matter. Then, during a certain weekend later that year, we attended another conference held by the same organisation at Komatipoort in the eastern Transvaal (Mpumalanga). After the early morning service, Ben spoke to me, telling me that the Lord had confirmed His earlier call to him and that I was to pray about the matter and hear from God.
I decided to go to the second meeting and prayed beforehand, asking the Lord God to confirm His calling to me too. The message that morning, was from Luke 9-37-38, which reads as follows: “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field”. For me it was as if I was the only person in that tent service that morning. The Lord spoke so clearly to me, that I had no doubt that He had answered my prayer. After the meeting I shared this with a number of other ladies. We prayed together and they confirmed the Lord’s calling of us. I told Ben and his heart overflowed with joy because we knew that the Lord’s calling for us was now sealed.
STEPPING OUT IN FAITH INTO FULL-TIME SERVICE
I recall that I had a very bad attack of flu at that stage, but on returning to Pretoria, which was quite a long drive, I phoned the Director of the Mission asking if I could have an immediate appointment with him, to which he agreed. Martie and I went to his home where we sat down and I shared this calling with him. What he said to me was this: “Ben, you must pray much about this for by prayer we burn out that which is not of God and we burn in that which is of God.” I accepted his words, but within my heart I knew for certain that God had called me and that nothing would now divert me. We took along the application forms and within the next day or two I completed them and handed them in to the Mission. Within a short while I was advised that we had been accepted by the Mission and that we were to report on a certain day.
Now there was no turning back anymore and so I went to the staff office, obtained the appropriate forms, filled them out and handed in my resignation.
The day when I left the Department of Justice where I had been employed for ten years was of course a red letter day. On going to the Deputy-Director (the one to whom I had spoken in regard to his using of God’s name in vain) he said to me: “Ben, I do not feel that it would be right for me to interfere with you in this matter. You are not taking up employment elsewhere in which case I would have discussed it with you, but in this situation where you feel that God is calling you, I do not feel that I have the liberty to say anything about it. I am just releasing you. But I want you to know this: if you ever feel that you have perhaps made a mistake, your place in this Department will always be open. We will always accept you, should you wish to return.”
My next stop was with the Secretary, the head of the Department of Justice who reported directly to the Minister of Justice. That too was a very memorable meeting. He said to me: “Ben, I have been running this Department for a long time. During this time, on Sunday afternoons, I often took my Bible and some tracts, went into the African suburbs, giving out tracts and praying for the people with whom I met. During these years I have often asked myself the question whether I should not resign from my post and also go out, preaching the Word of God.” So he too blessed me and sent me forth into the harvest field of God. Over and over the Lord was confirming that I was doing the right thing. And so it was that on 1 October 1971, I turned up at the Bible School to begin my training.
GOD WILL NOT CALL YOU TO A PLACE IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY PREPARED THE WAY!
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GOD’S SECOND MOVE TO LEAD US INTO FULL-TIME MINISTRY
My parents had been in touch with a Missionary organisation that held a yearly meeting for all its supporters which they referred to as their Birthday meeting, for on that day, they commemorated the founding of the Mission and in the course of the meeting workers of the Mission gave testimony of what God had been doing through them during the previous year.
At that meeting my mother met with a worker called Piet Smit and later on introduced us to one another. As I shared with him about our own salvation and about how we felt in our hearts as far as the work of God was concerned, he invited me to go with him on one of his outreaches. His ministry was to the Indian people of Pretoria and he was concentrating on a certain area called Marabbastad. This was a very backward, in fact a slum area.
I did not respond to his invitation because I felt myself totally unworthy to accompany a worker of that Mission in preaching the Gospel. I saw them as people on pedestals, people of a spiritual stature way above mine and I just did not feel at ease to go out with him. I made all kinds of excuses and never went, but as time went by, I discerned that I no longer had the peace of God that I had had before. It was as if there was a continual sort of unrest within me and as I prayed about it, I knew, and God said to me, that I was being disobedient to His call. He had called me to go out to do His work and I was holding back; I was postponing this for a later date, not getting to the point to take that step and say: “Here am I Lord, I am now going”.
Then, on a certain Saturday morning I could stand this unrest within me no more. I said to the Lord: “Lord, there are many jobs around the house that I have to do, but I am going to sit down this morning and wait upon You until You tell me what is wrong within me, for I can’t stand this unrest any longer at all”. I did so, sat down in the lounge and switched on the radio.
It was at 10:15 and there was a 15 minute Christian broadcast. The speaker was a pastor from a congregation in Pietermaritzburg. What he said was: “Why are you sitting in your easy chair this morning. Why don’t you go out and preach the Gospel?” This was such a direct answer to my question, that I knew for certain that God had spoken to me and so I immediately went into my bedroom, put on a suit and tie, grabbed my Bible and told Martie that I was going to Marabbastad to wait for Piet Smit, for I felt that that was what God was telling me to do.
When I got there, I drove around in our Opel, but could not find him anywhere. That was at about 12 o’clock. I parked under a tree and prayed: “Lord, I can sit here like a fool for the rest of this day, but I will not leave until You have taken me a step further and shown me what You want me to do”. At 2 o’clock that afternoon, on driving through that little suburb again, I spotted Piet and his team walking down the street. I stopped and said to him that I had responded to his invitation and if he agreed, I would appreciate it to go with him as he was going from house to house, sharing the Gospel. Piet immediately agreed, so I parked the car under a tree and went with him.
I felt so inadequate. Most of those people were Muslims and what do you say to a Muslim? How do you bring the Gospel to a Muslim? That was my question. In the very second house we entered, were two ladies and Piet asked me to speak to them. The Holy Spirit right away came to my assistance and put into my mind the portion of Scripture of the two men that were on their way from Jerusalem to Emmaus. As the story goes the Lord Jesus suddenly joined up with them and asked them what they were speaking about. Their answer was: “Are you a stranger in Jerusalem? Don’t you know what has been happening regarding this prophet that was ministering for a considerable time, doing many miracles but was now crucified?” The Lord Jesus then started from that point, explaining the Gospel to them and eventually, at their invitation, joined them for a meal at their home. Having eaten, He just suddenly disappeared and they were left alone. What He had done during that time was that He had revealed to them that He was not only a prophet but that He was what He had all the time claimed to be, namely the Son of God, the living Christ. So my message to these two ladies was: “You people believe in the Lord Jesus but you see Him as a prophet only; as a mere human being. He is so much more. You must put your trust in Him as the Son of the living God, being one with the Father and with the Spirit.” Well, they did not respond to that immediately or accept the Lord Jesus as Saviour as I would have wanted them to do, but at least the message I brought to them was relevant; it was from the Word; it was inspired by the Lord and I felt so good about it.
Piet then acted very wisely. He realised that God was doing something special in my life and that Martie had to share in this; she had to become part of it. He phoned his wife at home and asked her to bring Martie over so that she could, together with us, attend a little meeting which they would be holding for the residents in a small church building that night. I did not know that he had done this and was surprised when, suddenly, there she was. So we attended the meeting. There were just a few people and one of them to whom I spoke, smelt so strongly of methylated spirits, that I doubted whether the Word that was brought reached her mind. The other listeners too, did not seem to appreciate the importance of the message, but to me it was like heaven. I sensed the presence of God and just knew that this was what the Lord wanted me to do for the rest of my life. I was convinced that He was calling me into this Mission as a full-time evangelist.
WHEN GOD LAYS HIS HAND ON YOUR SHOULDER, DO NOT TURN AWAY!
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It is so important to edify oneself with sound spiritual teaching. Since we did not receive challenging teaching in our church, the Lord found other ways to supply in this need. My parents were attending meetings of the Africa Evangelistic Band and they benefited much spiritually. My mom then kept on prompting us to also attend these meetings which were held once a month on a Sunday afternoon.
Eventually we did so and were really stimulated in many areas of our Christian lives and also challenged in some areas. The centre of their teaching was holiness. They majored on this topic. Although, as I got to know the Word of God much better, I did not go along with all of their teaching, yet it stimulated us to iron out many little things in our lives that were contrary to the Word of God and I can say that we grew spiritually in a very positive way.
They also placed a very strong emphasis on every Christian going out and evangelising other people. That was also burning within my own heart. I immediately latched on to this teaching and did even more than before to reach out to other people. It could well have been that these messages stirred within me the possibility of going out into full-time service as an evangelist or as a missionary.
After some time they invited us to a camp they would be holding in the district of Carolina. That was in the month of July of the second year after we were saved. That means that it was about two years and eighteen months after I was saved. Martie of course, was saved a little bit later. We considered this invitation and eventually decided to go. At that stage such camps were actually unheard of. The churches never held camps like these. All their teaching was given on Sunday mornings and evenings within church buildings.
On reaching the campsite, we discovered that the accommodation was very primitive. We were accommodated in Army bell tents but at least beds were provided to sleep on.
Three or four meetings were held every day and Martie and I took turns in attending them for one of us had to look after Frans, who was just one year old. There was such a tremendous thirst in my heart for the Word of God and for the teaching that went out at that camp, that I just could not remain in the tent during any meeting, so when my turn came to look after our little boy, I would take him in my arms and stand outside the tent through all of the meeting just to be able to hear what was said inside.
I also watched the speakers very, very closely for they were actually challenging us to make a total commitment of ourselves to the Lord. I saw this as a tremendous burden, not realising how wonderful it would be to live a life like that. And because I saw it as a burden and not as a joy, I watched these people very closely to see if they were actually living the life which they advocated or if they were just preaching a life they themselves were not living. Their conduct made a very good impression on me. I could see much of the Lord Jesus Christ in their lives. It was as if I could almost see into their hearts, into their spirits and what I saw there was good, and was in agreement with what they preached.
In between meetings, I spent much time in prayer. There were a number of bluegum trees in the area and I went there, knelt down and poured my heart out to God, praying and praying, confessing sins of which I was aware and just really committing my life to Him. I do not think there was all that much wrong in my life but I was just surrendering completely. I was saying: “Lord, here I am, I am giving myself to you completely. I don’t know exactly what that means and where it’s going to take me, but I really want to be inwardly completely committed to You, handed over to You”. So that was my state of mind. (That was shortly after I had given up smoking.)
Then one night, towards the end of those meetings which lasted for about a week, I was attending the evening meeting. The message was about going out and preaching the Gospel. In closing, the preacher invited those that felt the Lord had spoken to them, to step forward. I did so and stood in front of the pulpit. The commitment I had in mind was to utilize every opportunity and devote all my spare time to the salvation of others. I was the only one that responded to the altar call. The preacher prayed with me, then quoted from Acts chapter 1:4 that reads: “You must tarry in Jerusalem until you have been endued with power from on high.”
After the meeting I went back to our tent, lit a candle, opened my Bible and read from it as I normally did before going to bed. What I read was the following Scripture (II Timothy 4:1-5): “In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of His appearing and His Kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.”
The impact of this Scripture upon me was overwhelming. I had probably read it scores of times, but this time God used it to speak to me personally as He had spoken to Moses at the burning bush. I had just committed myself openly, at the altar, witnessed by all those people of God, to preach the Gospel and now this Scripture: “I charge you, preach the Word at all times even though it will bring hardship. You are called to be an evangelist. Discharge all the duties pertaining to this office.”
I immediately knew that this was the Almighty God speaking to me, Ben Lubbe, specifically. I knew that He was telling me to resign from my job and go out to do His work full-time for the rest of my life. I was totally stunned, firstly by the fact that the almighty Creator of heaven and earth would stoop down and speak to me personally. Was God really so fully engaged with each and every minute little human being? It was like the President of the USA picking up the phone, phoning one of the lowest unemployed members of society, speaking to him personally and telling him to report to the White House for service. I had never thought that God would call me into His service in a full-time capacity. Me? Why me? It all happened in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, but the next moment I heard myself replying: “Lord, I am willing to go but I am not ready. Please prepare me and lead me out when You consider me to be ready.” In that dazed state of mind and soul but with peace in my heart, I went to bed.
At the close of the meetings we returned to our home in Pretoria and I continued with my work as usual. Did I tell Martie what had transpired between me and the Most High? No, I needed time to digest it, to get used to it, to let it settle down in my spirit, to see myself in that role, to begin to trust the Lord for finances, to think of all the consequences and to rise above them by faith. To ask your wife to take her baby in her arms, step out of the boat of relative security so that you may together walk the stormy waves at the command of Christ, is something you do not do in a hurry.
RAISE YOUR HAND AND SHOUT: “LORD, HERE AM I, SEND ME!”
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Many of our days must have been dreary and perhaps even boring, but there are those that stand out like beacons. One of these occurred when we were visiting Martie’s relatives during the festive season of 1970.
When I was saved, the Lord miraculously delivered me from any desire I had for alcohol. However, I felt that a Christian was not to refrain from participating in the things common to everyday life, for by taking part in some of them, he could influence other people and draw them to the Lord Jesus Christ. We therefore attended functions like marriage ceremonies and other family gatherings. There are, however, also dangers involved in doing so as I was to discover for myself.
When I was saved, a certain relative of ours who had no interest in God whatsoever, said to my wife: “This will never last. We know him very, very well. It is just a matter of time and he will be back to his old habits.” Martie conveyed this to me but it did not worry me for I felt very secure in my new-found salvation. During that specific visit to Martie’s relatives, on a certain evening, we were visiting her brother-in-law at whose home a lively party was being held for all the family to enjoy. Her family in fact loved to get together; they just enjoyed one another’s company. As the party picked up, I drank a beer and probably another one and probably a third one. By that time I was getting a bit tipsy and very jolly indeed. I wasn’t drunk yet, but well on my way there.
By God’s grace it did not go any further and no one else would really have seen my behaviour as out of place but this chap was watching me closely and went up to Martie and said to her: “Just look at that. Didn’t I tell you that this is what was going to happen?” When we got home that evening, Martie told me what he had said. By that time my head had cleared because I had not really drunk all that much and these words struck deeply into my heart. I was overcome with grief. I realised that I had openly put to shame the Lord Jesus Christ that had saved my soul. Before going to bed, I cried and confessed my sin, but I went further than that. I realised that by taking even one drink I had opened the way for another and that what had happened to me that night, could so easily happen again in future. So I prayed and said: “Oh God, please, I am giving myself to You tonight, completely, also in this area of my life. Lord please never ever in my whole life do I want to take even one drop of alcohol over my lips. Lord please empower me to go through with this resolution for I myself am weak and I know that my own willpower will not see me through.” I felt relieved and got into bed but knew that the next test was just around the corner, and so it was.
Within the next few days, Martie’s brother, living next door to her mother’s house where we were hosted for those days, also threw a party to which everyone was invited. Since I had always been right in the midst of the jollification, leading in taking one drink after the other, getting more drunk than most of the others, they straightaway looked for me to liven up the party.
I panicked for I knew I just did not have the willpower to stand up against them. I was like a scared rabbit hunted down by dogs. I knew that I just had to flee from them. I could not afford to be found because they would surround me, draw me into their midst, put a glass to my lips and sing: “Down, down, down!” and I just wouldn’t have the courage to give offence by not doing what they wanted. So what I did was something absolutely ridiculous in the eyes of man but I was a desperate man and God says in His Word that we are to flee from sin. “Flee from sin”: that means you have to run away from it; run as fast as you can, set up a new 100meter record, get awayget away, hide and do not let it catch up with you. Strangely enough, concerning the devil, the Word says that we are to withstand him, but as regards sin, we are to flee from it. Don’t ask me for a theological explanation; I was not dealing with theology but with sin and I felt there was only one way out and that was to run, to flee and that was exactly what I did. I did not run down the street for that would have been too embarrassing, but ran to the garage and climbed onto the flat roof which had a little wall around it. There I lay on my stomach, heart pounding, saying to myself (or perhaps it was the devil saying to me): “Look at yourself, a magistrate, doing such a ridiculous thing. Do you really think this is what God wants from you?”
Friends, at least there is one example in the Bible of a very important rich man that did very much the same and that was Zacchaeus. When he could not see the Lord Jesus, he became so desperate that he ran ahead, got up into a tree with those long robes which the people of that time wore and sat there with a pounding heart waiting for the Lord Jesus to pass by beneath him. He had acted as ridiculously as I did. We were sort of in the same tree. The Lord Jesus came to the tree, looked up at him and said: “Zacchaeus, come down for today I must dine with you in your house.” The Lord did not consider his behaviour to be ridiculous but honoured him in front of all those people.
That is what happened to me on that roof that day. I had an open heaven above me. Like Jacob, there were, unseen to me, angels ascending and descending with the Lord standing at the top of that ladder, looking down and saying: “Well done My servant, now I know that you really love me”. You know it was when Abraham did that ridiculous thing of taking his son onto the mountain, laying him on the altar and took up up the knife and was on the point of killing him, of sacrificing him unto the Lord, and it was then, only then, that the Lord stopped him saying: “Now I know that you love me and that you did not withhold your only son from Me.” It was then that the Lord showed him a ram entangled in a bush which he could use to sacrifice in the place of his son.
It was on that roof where the Lord said to me: “Ben, now I know that you really love me and now I seal your desire not to touch liquor again for the rest of your life. I will now make your decision a fixture in your spirit, I will be with you in every situation in which you are tempted”. You know what, I got down from that roof, walked amongst all those people and they never even seemed to notice me. It was as if they had just been blinded as regards my presence and I knew within my heart that the victory now was mine forever. Oh, the grace of God. Oh, the love that sought me. Oh, the blood that bought me. Up till this day which is, I believe some 41 years later, I have never again had a drop of alcohol over my lips. I do not even partake of Holy Communion when it is served with wine that has alcohol in it. There are dear Christian friends of mine that see no harm in taking a glass of wine with their food, but as for me my answer is: “No, I will not touch it again. I will not endanger myself. I will not endanger the lives of others who might also be weak and seeing me as a Christian taking alcohol, might be tempted to do so themselves and fall into the net of the evil one”.
This was not the last occasion on which I was challenged on the issue of taking alcohol. In the course of my work I once had to do a project in the magistrates’ court offices of Johannesburg. That was a very, very large office. At that time it had more staff than some of the smaller government departments had in total. I also had to interact with very senior people. As regards that project, I had to liaise with the town clerk of Johannesburg, who nowadays is the mayor, with vice-directors of the Department of Justice and with the senior magistrate of that office. I had to come up with proposals on how to solve a certain problem affecting both offices and get everybody to accept it.
When lunchtime came, we were all invited by the Mayor for a meal at a posh restaurant. As we were sitting around that enormous table, he asked each one of us what we would have to drink. When it came to me I said I would have a Coke. He brushed aside my reply and repeated his question to which I again replied that I would love to have a Coke. He then sympathetically enquired whether I had an ulcer. The moment had come to be open and I said no, I did not have any physical problem but that I was a Christian and would not have alcohol. He got upset, saying that we all were Christians. I replied that I was a born-again Christian and for that reason would not have alcohol. As you can imagine, it somewhat spoiled the spirit of camaraderie which was important for the co-operation between the two organisations. The Lord, however, overruled and my work never suffered because of my walk with Christ.
It was incidences like these that mightily strengthened my faith and helped me to give myself to the Lord completely.
I am aware of all the theological arguments for and against the moderate use of alcohol, especially wine, by Christians, but let me briefly approach the issue in a more practical way. That exceedingly godly man, Noah, was laid low by wine, became a spectacle to his household as he lay naked on his bed, and in the aftermath, one of his family members was cursed.
If any person, on his deathbed, were to be asked what he would have done otherwise during his lifetime if he could have it all over again, very few, if any, would say that they would have liked regularly to have had a mug of beer, a glass of wine, a tot of gin or a tumbler of whisky. On the contrary, millions would probably say that they would not have touched alcohol had they been given a second chance.
We as a family went through a couple of years of terrible trauma because of a family member that had become an alcoholic. We witnessed the devastating effects alcohol had on him as well as on his family. In the course of our work as evangelists, Martie and I saw the effects of alcohol on society. More than once we stood at the bedside of an alcoholic, physically just skin and bones, shaking like an animal that had been poisoned and was staring at us as from the pit of hell. Never have I seen a person in that plight, being born-again and restored to normal life. Often have I seen such people sliding down into the darkness and horror of eternal damnation and all that because, on a certain day of their lifes’ journey, they had taken a sip of alcohol . No, I will not have it and have no need of it for the Spirit of the Lord fills my life with joy.
BREAKING WITH TOBACCO
Another act of deliverance which the Lord effected in my life was when He delivered me from the bondage of smoking. I had actually started smoking at the age of 17 when I was in standard nine (grade 11), my second last year in secondary school. I started off by smoking cigarettes but when my father gave up smoking cigars, I gradually emptied that large carton by smoking them myself. I took these with me to boarding school and we had a secret place where all of us smokers got together and enjoyed our smoke.
After leaving school, I continued smoking for approximately another 10 years when I gave it up for the sake of my rugby. I felt that I would be able to get fit much faster. I did not find it all that hard at that time but after a while I had very strange physical symptoms which the doctors could not diagnose. This got worse and worse and one side of my face went numb. I also had other tremendous physical discomforts during that time so one of the specialists I consulted, advised me to go back to smoking because, in his experience, people sometimes displayed these strange symptoms when discontinuing their smoking habit.
His consulting room was on the fifth floor of a certain building. As I left the lift on the ground floor, there was a cafe right in front of me. I went in, bought myself a packet of Lexingtons and within a minute I was drawing on a cigarette until it glowed like the tail light of a motorcar. From that moment I was firmly bound by this habit and knew very well that I would not get rid of it again. I bought myself a very grand pipe and smoked Boxer tobacco instead of cigarettes “for health reasons.”
But God had other ideas for me and so one day when we were at the seaside and as I was fishing and casting the bait into the water, I looked down and saw a pipe being swept into the sea. Realising that it was mine that that fallen from my pocket, I ran after it but, in doing so, I felt the Spirit of God saying to me: “Leave it”. I was stunned but it was just too much for me and I said: “No Lord, I can’t let my pipe just go like that”. So I ran after it and got it back. But the seed had been sown in my mind.
A few days later my brother and I were fishing from the wharf. For some reason or other he had forgotten to bring his pipe along for he was also smoking. Now a pipe is something you do not share with anybody else but he was my brother and I just could not see him suffering like that. So I lent him my pipe but, to my grief, he dropped it and it fell somewhere beneath the rocks where we could not retrieve it. Again the Spirit of God spoke to me very clearly saying: “I told you to stop smoking. I told you that this habit is now to be broken.”
This time I could not ignore the voice of the Lord any longer and said to Him: “Lord as you know, there at Justice Head Office, I am on the verge of implementing a very comprehensive filing system which is going to touch each and every one working in that office. I know everybody is going to be very irritated in the beginning for not being able to find the correct file and they are going to converge on me, blaming me for this or for that for some time. My superiors are also going to call me in, wanting to know this or wanting to solve that problem. Lord, I know it is going to be a very stressful time. So Lord, please grant me extension of time just until this trial is over. I promise that I will then attend to this issue”.
Whether the Lord actually granted my request or whether I just stubbornly decided to do it my own way, I do not know, but what I can say is that I kept my promise and as soon as that system had been implemented and the dust had settled, I went to the Lord in prayer, saying: “Lord, please, the time has now come to deliver me, but this is going to be a fight. Lord, please assist me and help me to get through with it”. I also went to Martie, telling her what I was about to do and asking her to pray for me, not only on a daily basis but on an hourly basis for I knew this was going to be a most terrible battle.
I decided to cut my smoking or to limit it to a certain number of smokes per day, cutting down to the point where, after five days, I would stop completely. I also recall that when I had stopped the previous time, while the nicotine was withdrawing from my body, I would fall asleep whenever I sat down on a chair for longer than two minutes. So I knew this was not going to be an easy matter but I was resolved to do it because the Lord had told me that this was what He wanted. What made it worse was that I couldn’t find any text in the Word saying that a person was not allowed to smoke and I knew that very few Christians would agree with me that smoking is similar to taking any other kind of drug, that it is an idol in one’s life that binds one and takes the place of God in certain areas of one’s life.
Well the long and the short of this issue is that, at the end of the fifth day, I put down my pipe for the last time. I did not put it into the dustbin, I put it in a drawer of our dressing table so that I would be able to lay my hand on it should I not be able to achieve what I had set out to do. Again the Lord was so good to me and though I went through a very hard time and was very moody during that time, I did get through. After about fourteen days I realised that I had somehow gained the victory. It took much, much longer for the recollection of smoking to be eradicated from my mind. Whenever I saw people smoking again or smelled it, I knew I had to take a stand against it.
The devil also attacked me on several occasions, causing me to have nightmares during which I dreamt that I had again taken up my pipe and started smoking. It was an extremely traumatic experience and I would actually wake up in a sweat. I had to get out of bed, walk around, sit in the lounge for awhile to recover and to realise that it had just been a dream and that I had not succumbed to this habit. I had to pray again, confessing that smoking was against the will of God and in this way regain my inner peace and confidence that I had really been delivered and that I would not revert to that old habit again.
Smoking has a tremendous hold on a person and I do believe from personal experience and from what I have seen in other people, that it can even be worse than alcohol. Yet, there is deliverance and after a period of some forty-three years, I can testify that God has given me grace never again to take up a cigarette or my pipe and that I have no further desire or use for it.
To stop smoking was a very real deliverance for I always had, before leaving for any place, to make sure that in my pocket I had my pipe, tobacco pouch filled with tobacco and matches. I often was in meetings where I felt this terrible craving and longed just to to get out for a while to take a smoke, so having been delivered from this was a tremendous relief. I could sit in church or in other spiritual meetings, totally free from this desire to which I had been bound for so long. In this matter also, once more I can just give glory to God and say: “When the Son has set you free, you shall be free indeed”. I am not saying that an unconverted person cannot lay down his pipe or cigarettes but I do say that I have seen many of them doing so, but taking it up again after a while. “Thank you Lord for what you have done also in this area of my life.”
ON ADDICTION IN GENERAL
It is so important that we as Christians see things like addiction to alcohol or tobacco from a spiritual perspective. We need to see that it is not just a physical thing harming our health, but that there is a spiritual side to it. Firstly, it dishonours the Lord and secondly, there is a very strong demonic influence which we allow to operate in our lives.
The nation of Israel, as they moved into Canaan taking the land which God had promised to them, came up to one city after the other and it was just human to bypass the stronger cities and rather take the ones that were not so heavily guarded. That might not have been the right thing to do, because what happened was that these strong cities remained amongst them. They settled down around these heathen communities.
One can just imagine what happened. In the beginning there would probably have been enmity and no interaction with them, but as time went by, both sides became used to each other. The people of Israel might have gone into the cities to buy things which they needed. Those within the cities may have gone out to the surrounding Israelite farmers and bought goods from them like vegetables and animals. In this way trade was established between the two groups. That brought friendship that might even have led to intermarriage. That led to Israel becoming tolerant of heathen gods and as we see in history, very soon they started worshipping them, which led to Israel’s downfall when they were carried away into captivity.
This is very much the same in the life of a Christian. There comes a moment after we are saved when the Lord points out the strongholds in our lives. It is as if we arrive at a specific city. The time comes for us to deal with that specific enemy that is in our midst as in the instance when the Lord pointed out to me, very definitely, that smoking was to go. If we do not get to grips with it immediately, we first of all grieve the Holy Spirit and He discontinues speaking to us regarding this issue. He withdraws after having spoken to us for a day or a week or a month or two or three. He gradually just withdraws and we do not feel a strong urge any more to deal with this enemy within our lives. What happens? In the end we sort of make peace with this thing within our lives. There is a truce between us and when people speak to us about this, we just overlook it and feel: “Oh well, I do know the Lord; I am on my way to heaven. I am growing in other areas in my life, so this is not all that important. This is just a physical thing, this is not really touching my spirit.”
What we do not realise is that it actually undermines our faith because, in a specific area, we have not been able to gain the victory. Of course it also undermines our health. Just recently I stood at the deathbed of a man dying from emphysema. He had been smoking for many, many years during which time his wife had been pleading with him to stop, but he just went on. Now towards the end of his life, he was blaming God for the suffering which he was going through, but he was not thinking about the fact that God had in fact spoken to him so many times but that he had just been putting this off, shifting it aside, turning a deaf ear to the Lord and that these were the natural consequences which he was now bearing.
What I am saying is that these things will not keep one from heaven, but it will definitely harm one’s relationship with the Lord, it will make one ineffective in work that one wants to do for God. I can assure you that with reference to some racial groups, if you bring the Gospel to them and you are smoking, they will just laugh and ask in which way you are different from them?
There comes a time, a divine time, when God speaks to us and when we must immediately respond to the Holy Spirit. He will see us through and work deliverance in our lives. This applies to each and every area of our lives and to whatever becomes an idol and wants to rule within us.
Our children were taught by a certain teacher who was bound by Coca-Cola. He would drink a couple of bottles of Coca-Cola daily. Now Coca-Cola is not normally a substance that causes addiction but by drinking it all day long, he got to the point where he could not be without it even for a couple of hours, which means that he had become addicted to it .
Addiction can affect any area of our lives and we must be wide-awake to see it coming and immediately deal with it before it becomes a stronghold within us. It could be caused by sitting watching the TV hour after hour instead of spending time with our families. Any good thing could become an idol if over-indulged in, for instance, I love to read books and I have to be careful not to over-indulge in this pastime which in other ways, is very profitable.
Enough on the topic of addiction. Let us get on with the story of our lives.
STAND FIRM AND THE ENEMY WILL TURN TAIL AND FLEE FROM YOU!
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MARTIE’S ACCOUNT OF EXPERIENCES IN REGARD TO OUR FIRST SON, FRANS
After nine months of waiting, the day came for our first baby to be born. Shall I ever forget that day! Ben took me to the maternity home on the afternoon of 17 September. When we arrived there, the sister in charge examined me and I was told that it would be many hours before the baby would be born; so we waited, Ben and I. Late that afternoon he walked me around the garden for hours until I could walk no longer. Evening came and still nothing happened. On several occasions Ben asked the sister whether she had phoned the doctor. Her answer always was: ‘It is not time yet’. Ben then sat in a chair beside my bed, keeping watch. I fell asleep. By about twelve o’clock I woke up in terrible pain. Ben called the sister and insisted that she call the doctor. After another examination, her answer still was: ‘It is not time yet.’
I was lying there, hour after hour. Ben got very cross with the sister because it seemed to him that she did not care much about me. She instructed him to go and wait in the waiting room which was way down the passage and even accompanied him to make sure that he got there. As she returned to my room, he followed her back and when she looked over her shoulder before entering my room, guess what?… There was Ben, right behind her again! It must have been a shock to her, because there and then she called the doctor. By that time it was already 08h30 in the morning. The doctor arrived within a few minutes and had hardly time to prepare himself. Within a short time, I was able to hold our son in my arms. Everything went well and he was healthy. I then knew that the Lord had been with me all the time and had carried me through that very difficult experience. Praise His wonderful Name! I also feared that they might accidentally exchange my baby for another one. But the Lord knew about my fear, and had engraved that little face on my mind and in my heart and from the first time they brought him back to me, I knew for certain, that was him! A mother will, and can never forget that first impression as she looks upon that little face and will recognise him/her amongst a thousand other babies.
When Frans was just over one year old, Ben’s parents visited us on Christmas Day. We had a lovely backyard where there were various types of fruit trees. We showed them around and as we went, enjoyed some of the peaches. As we were on our way to the house, we suddenly heard Frans making strange noises. We rushed to him and realised that he had something in his throat and was actually choking. Ben stuck his finger into his mouth, trying to dig out whatever got stuck there, but could not succeed. By that time Frans was turning blue in the face and I ran out of the room for I saw blood on Ben’s and his mother’s hands and could stand it no more. As a last resort, Ben turned him upside down, smacked him hard on the back causing the air to gush out of his lungs. The peach pip, for that is what it was, shot out onto the floor and the crisis was over. We of course then took him to hospital. The doctor said that his throat looked very bad and he would have died had we not succeeded in removing the pip. A course of antibiotics took care of possible inflammation and very soon he had forgotten all about that experience. Not so with his mother who went through it again and again and over and over praised the Lord for the Christmas miracle He performed for us as a family.
TITHING
Quite early in that first year of our salvation, we felt that we should tithe. Now let me not enter into the different present-day teachings on this issue, but just say we felt that that was the right thing to do and to us, living in the glow of our new-found salvation, to do the right thing, was the right thing to do and we applied ourselves to it industriously. Putting faith into action, however, was not all that easy, for during that year we had bought a new house, filled it with furniture and our first child was born. As can well be imagined, each of these items took its toll on our finances. It was our conviction that we had to tithe on our gross income and since my salary was the only income we had, this was easier said than done. As I sat down to plan our monthly budget I realised that we were barely scraping through, so how would we manage to get by on only 9/10ths of our income?
There was only one answer to this challenge: by faith. We just had to trust God to see us through and so we set about doing this. Every month, before using my salary for any other purpose, we industriously deducted 1/10 which we gave to our church. This was the first step of faith we had ever taken in trusting God to provide for our material needs. And it worked. We actually got by, month by month.
How did God manage to do this? On looking back, I discovered that He had kept his hand of protection over our material things. We never had a mishap; nothing ever broke. He did for us as he had done for the children of Israel during the forty years they were roaming in the desert when neither their clothes, nor their shoes wore out. God has bags of miracles to dispense to them that put their trust in Him. We have, by now, after forty-two years of tithing, proved that He can be fully trusted in this matter. We have often heard people say that their income was insufficient for them to be able to set aside 1/10th of it for the promotion of God’s kingdom, but we have not found this happening during the course of our own lives, although we often went through very testing financial straits. You cannot prove the existence, power and faithfulness of God, without stepping out in faith.
MARTIE’S ACCOUNT REGARDING THE USE OF COSMETICS
After I left school, I used some cosmetics as every young girl does, but never overdid it. However, the Africa Evangelistic Band whose meetings and conferences we were attending, were outspoken against this practice which set me thinking as to whether it was pleasing to the Lord or not. One morning as I was putting on my make-up, a gust of wind blew some of the items off my dressing table. Bending down to pick them up, I sensed the Lord speaking to me, saying: ‘Be at peace with your appearance as I created you.’ I really wanted to please the Lord with all my heart but my problem was with Ben: what would his reaction be? Would he be happy with such a colourless wife? I removed all make-up from my face, then approached him hesitantly and told him what had happened, adding: ‘You better not laugh at me or you will be in trouble!’ Well, praise the Lord, he just smiled, saying: ‘This does not come as a surprise. I have been praying for you to take this step for quite some time.’ He accepted me as I was, because we both wanted to be obedient to the Lord.
This step stood me in good stead a while later, when, as you will see, we joined an organisation that did not allow its members to use cosmetics. Later in life, as I grew older and lost some of whatever natural beauty I had, I began to use just a little make-up again, for two reasons. Firstly I felt that just as with colourful clothes, life would be more cheerful with a couple of colourful faces. Secondly, women not using make-up, are regarded by some as slovenly and unkempt which would be detrimental to my Christian image, rather than doing it any good. My standpoint is that cosmetics should enhance a lady’s natural beauty and not be applied as a mask making her unrecognizable.
ENTERTAINMENT UNDER THE MAGNIFYING GLASS
Next in line of God’s spiritual educating for us, was regarding entertainment. There was no television at that stage and so we all went to the movies. Some of these had sex scenes that ran contrary to the teaching of God’s Word. This troubled me more and more, and so one day I tactfully broached this matter to Martie saying: “What would your reaction be should I do the same things we saw the hero of this picture doing?” Her answer was: “Don’t you ever dare!” to which I replied: “Well then I think we may be doing wrong by exposing ourselves to temptation to do things that are not right in the eyes of God.”
Well, we both pondered this question for a couple of days and then came up with the answer that we were sinning and should in future refrain from going to movies unless we had a fair assurance that they would not be offensive to the Lord. This too, was quite a radical step to take for there really was very little entertainment at that time and to some degree it left us on a barren island, not always knowing what to do with our time. It also meant that we could not participate in conversation when it came to the discussion of the latest movies. Our friends would raise their eyebrows when discovering that we had not yet been to this or that new release and would be astounded to learn that, as Christians, we felt that certain movies were not beneficial to our growth in Christ.
The positive side of this new turn in our lives, was that we appropriated so much more of our time in the studying of God’s Word. I then also discovered that there were Christian books to be read and we bought quite a number of them. The first one titled “God’s Smuggler” was by a Dutch Christian and it was his fascinating story of smuggling Bibles into Communist countries. What a tremendous challenge this was to me and how it stirred my heart to go way beyond the normal in promoting God’s Kingdom. Then also, prompted by my mother I discovered the books written by Dr Andrew Murray, many of which I bought and read. In this way the Lord was opening our eyes to behold the length and depth and height, not only of his love, but also of His holiness and power.
KEEPING THE SABBATH
There were of course also many spiritual onslaughts. Since we were thirsty for discussing the things of God with other people, we sometimes met up with those that had some interest in spiritual matters but not much knowledge and they would then try to force their convictions on us. A certain couple one day spoke to me very seriously saying that a person could not really be saved unless he kept the Sabbath. This was new to me. I did not have an answer right away and so I told him that I would think about what he had said and get back to him at a later stage.
Since there was no-one to whom I could turn for advice on this matter, I took it to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to reveal the truth to me. I then took up the Bible and started paging through the New Testament because at that stage I had no concordance or any other instrument such as a Bible dictionary or the like which I could consult. Suddenly my eye caught a verse in the book of Colossians. It was Colossians 2:16 which reads as follows: “So don’t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths. For these rules are only shadows of the reality yet to come. And Christ himself is that reality.”
My, oh my, what a discovery. It really was as if God Himself was speaking to me in an audible voice from heaven. Not only had I, on my own, discovered the truth regarding Sabbaths, but I had discovered a greater truth, namely that my Heavenly Father had an intense interest in everything that I was doing or saying and that He wanted to be my teacher. I felt I was floating on a cloud. I could not wait to go to this man with my open Bible and with a beaming face, point him to the truth in God’s Word. However, no matter how he tried, he could not get around this clear teaching and so our ways parted.
Regarding the Sabbath, I do realise that there is much more to be said than quoting just one verse, but salvation, at least, is by faith alone and not by doing good works.
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Now let me relate something about our home life, for that is where the new life in Christ is often most severely tested. The year 1970 was a very significant year for us. I was saved in January, we moved into our new house during March or April, Martie accepted the Lord Jesus in June and then on 19 September, our first child was born. It was a son and we named him Frans, after my father. Just prior to his birth we had exchanged our Toyota pickup for a very fine used, two litre white Opel, and so, on Martie’s discharge from the maternity home, we drove home, the proud parents of a little bundle of joy wrapped in blankets and cradled in Martie’s loving arms. Our pedigree boxer dog, however, did not share our enthusiasm for he immediately sensed that this would be competition.
What really stands out in my memory in regard to those early years of Christian life, was my drastically changing attitude towards my wife. In my parents’ marriage, though they were Christians, there were defects that were a daily irritation. My dad was a very upright man, strong in integrity, never told lies, was never disloyal to my mum, never cheated anybody but sometimes acted a bit rashly, possibly because of insecurity he had borne from his childhood days. My mum was a very virtuous and wise person, but somewhat failed in the area of submission towards her husband. She over reacted to his wrong behaviour, blaming him and manipulating him to the extent that she was actually in charge of our family. I strongly resented this as a child and more so when I grew up into adulthood. Subconsciously I must have come to the firm decision never to allow my wife to rule our home and this is exactly what I did when we got married. I always made quite sure that I was the undisputed head of our family. My word was law and I did not tolerate my wife correcting me. In this way I felt secure and in control. At that time, most other men felt exactly the same way and I do not recall that there was any Christian teaching to the contrary in our churches.
But God wanted it otherwise and very soon the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to what His Word taught in this regard. I discovered that a husband was to love his wife deeply and to offer himself up for her wellbeing. The Lord then began applying this principle to my life in a very practical way. One day, after wronging her, He gently spoke to me saying: “Go to her and tell her that you are sorry for what you have said and done.” I immediately recoiled as if bitten by a snake. I said to myself: “Goodness me, what is going to happen in our home once I begin apologising to my wife? She’s going to take over just like my mum did. There will be no order whatsoever in our home anymore. Everything’s going to fall apart! No, this could not be from God. I will not do that.” But that inner conviction just persisted and persisted to the point where I had no peace at all and so I went up to Martie and sort of just mumbled: “I’m sorry,” as I walked past her. I expected her to sneer, point a finger and highlight my mistake. To my utter astonishment she reacted in a gentle way, saying: “Don’t worry, I was also wrong, I shouldn’t have said that.” I was astounded. I never expected that she would display such an attitude. I was humbled before God. I had learned my first deep, deep lesson in marriage but I would have to learn that lesson over and over and over again and I must confess that I am still, to this very day, in the process of learning it in an ever deepening way.
MARTIE’S ACCOUNT OF REJECTION BY HER FAMILY
Of course, wherever we went, we were testifying about what happened to us spiritually. It was not always easy. Suddenly we were rejected by many people, especially by some of our family members. This was not easy for me because we, as a family of three brothers and six sisters, were very close to one another. I prayed and cried before the Lord about the rejection I was experiencing and He answered me from His Word, saying: ‘I tell you the truth: no-one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for Me and the Gospel, will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age’ (Mark 10:29-30). And also: ‘You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men …..’ (Matt. 5:14-16).
I replied: ‘Thank you Lord, I am willing to go through all this, whatever the cost might be!’ The Word of course also says: ‘I tell you, whoever acknowledges Me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God. But he who disowns Me before men, will be disowned before the angels of God’.(Luke 12:8-10).
“COMPETING WITH THE JONESES”
Our new house was situated in a new suburb. Ours actually was the first, or one of the first homes to be built in that suburb. Since I had been appointed as a deacon in our church, I visited every new couple that moved into a home in that area. I recall that one month I visited as many as 43 homes. I did this to find out whether some of them were members of our church and to invite them to attend our meetings and become one with the body of Christ. The result was that we got to know just about everybody in that area. They were mostly young people, people of our age, let us say between 25 and 35 years of age; couples in the earlier stages of their lives, full of zeal and determined to make a mark in life. This was good, for I do believe that we all need to make the best of the time which God gives us on this planet.
The negative side of it, however, was that there was a strong underlying competition between all of us: “Keeping up with the Joneses.” We were continually speaking of and showing one another our cars, lawns, gardens, fruit trees, carpets (for wall-to-wall carpeting had just hit South Africa and we all felt we just had to have it or else lose prestige). The competition was not in a bad spirit, yet it was very, very real and everybody was somehow always a little bit tensed up, looking around to see what neighbours and friends were doing, what they were up to, what new things they had acquired. This did not please the Lord and so He started speaking to me on the issue.
I clearly recall the phases I went through during the next couple of months. To me too, acquiring as many material things in life as possible was the right thing to do. That was what a good person, a good husband, a good citizen was supposed to do. But I say again, God had different views on this issue and as I studied the Word, I came to the conclusion that He wanted us to work hard, to do our best, but to also be content with what He gave us and not continually to set our hearts upon that which could be seen, smelled, tasted, physically sensed.
The first practical issue in my life with which the Lord dealt with, was in regard to the motor car we were driving. New Toyota sedans (the Toyota Mark 2) were coming onto the market and I felt that I just had to have one. It was becoming an obsession with me. The other men were also buying new motor cars one after the other and I did not want to lag behind. Yet, I had no peace about this matter. The Holy Spirit kept on telling me: “There is nothing wrong with your Opel; it is in perfect running order and you do not need anything better for the present”. Wow, what a spiritual challenge.
First of all I had to overcome this in my own heart, then I had to convey it to Martie in such a way that she would be convinced that this really was the way God wanted it to be. At that time too, we had very little teaching along these lines in our church. However as time went by, my conviction that this attitude towards material things really was of God, became so intense, I was so certain of my stand, that I could also convincingly convey it to Martie. I had, in my inner being, in my spirit, crossed a line but now let me tell you, my new stand was so fragile that I declined when a friend of mine invited me to go for a drive with him in his new Toyota. I was perched on the point of a needle and so scared that my new-found resolution might not be strong enough to hold up under that temptation. Many months passed before I knew deep within my heart that I had gained a complete victory over the desire, or let me say over the compulsion to drive a new motorcar every year or two.
Once a clear victory was gained the ice was broken and the Lord showed me that the same principle actually applied to all our other material things. I sat down with Martie and we discussed this over again and again until, in the end, we came to that wonderful green pasture and quiet waters where all desire to compete with others in the acquiring of material things, was overcome. The desire had left us. The Spirit of God and the truth of his Word had set us free. We could now walk into the homes and sit in the cars of our friends, enjoying all they had, without any resentment that we ourselves did not have this or that or the other thing. What a wonderful freedom that was.
DO NOT LOVE THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD; THEY ARE NOT FOR KEEPS!
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At work, God was also exposing me to new situations in order that my faith might grow. Let me just recall two of these. At that time, the male staff members of the Department of Justice (Head Office) were having their morning tea separate from the ladies and were grouped more or less according to seniority. Now you know how it is when men group together: dirty jokes and remarks. That was the case especially on Mondays when the men in our group would recall the best jokes they had heard during the weekend. I was repelled by this conversation but kept aloof week after week, especially because I was somewhat of a junior member of staff amongst those high ranking officials.
However, on a certain Monday morning, I could not stand it any longer; the Spirit of God just rose up within me causing me to speak without counting the cost. What I said to them was this: “I am disgusted by the jokes you men are telling here at this table. Most of you are elders or deacons in your respective churches. Yesterday you were wearing your black suits and white ties. Your minister may have asked you to pray in the vestry before the meeting started and you did so. Yet this morning with the very same mouth and lips that you spoke to God, using His name, you are telling these filthy jokes. If that is not what the Bible calls a Pharisee, then I do not know what a Pharisee is.” As you can imagine, there was an awkward silence all around that table as these senior men busied themselves in stirring their tea, looking down at their cups, not daring to look at their colleagues and especially not wanting to look at me. I was so full of indignation that I did not care about my career.
After about 30 seconds of dead silence, one of them, known to have no reverence for God, spoke up, challenging me, saying: “So, what has happened to you?” I was still boiling with, hopefully, righteous indignation and did not hesitate for a single moment to answer him, saying: “I will tell you what happened to me. I became a Christian. A while ago I gave my life to God and I accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour. I am no longer just a member of my church, I am no longer just a deacon, I am born again by the Spirit of God and the Word of God says in 2 Corinthians 5:17: ‘If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold it has all become new’. That is what has occurred in my life. I have become a totally new kind of person. Those old things, those dirty things, have passed away. God cleansed my heart I can no longer engage in such filthy talk: it disgusts me.” You see, with the devil you must never mince your words. Shoot like a cowboy: straight from the hip. Use the Word of God. Hit him in the forehead, right between the eyes as David did with Goliath. The silence around that table deepened. Not a single word was spoken.
Unconverted church going people can also speak piously when it suits them. They can speak of their church, of the bazaar that was held on Saturday and about how much money was raised. They can speak of the renovations that were to be undertaken to the building. That kind of speech is quite in order and nobody would be offended. In our government department, people that held some or other position in their churches, were honoured and it would even count in their favour when their promotion was considered. But to speak about things like being born again, using words like: “The Spirit of God,” that just was not done. That was totally out of bounds. That was offensive. How then did a government servant dare to speak like that to his colleagues and especially to his seniors?
Well let me tell you, never before had the morning tea session come to such an abrupt end. Everyone around that table suddenly found a good reason to be excused and, within half a minute, I was the only one remaining to finish my cup of tea. What I then experienced in that empty tearoom was almost too great to frame in words. Suddenly there was an enormous flood of joy within my heart as the Holy Spirit testified to my spirit saying: “Well done son, you truly are mine.” As I sat all alone at that table, I had an overwhelming assurance of salvation. I just knew deep down that my experience in the caravan the morning after I had given my life to God, was not just an upsurge of emotion, but solid reality and that that would never, ever change again.
The result of it all: Well I never was called in and reprimanded for what I had said; on the contrary, I think many of those men thought deeply about it and admired the courage which God had given me to speak out against things they very well knew to be wrong. There were some good men in that department and I do believe that many of them were ashamed of their lives and might even have considered whether they were in the right standing with the Lord.
What I can say is that there was a very visible reaction to my short speech of that morning. The Department of Justice building in which we were working consisted of five floors and we travelled up and down by lift. By the end of that day I doubt whether there was a single member of staff, consisting of a few hundred people, that had not heard what had happened in the fourth floor tea room that morning. It was not that people spoke to me about it, but just the way they looked at me in the lift, said it all. I could sense very clearly that they knew. It was almost as if a sort of holy fear for me had come upon them, although I never intended it to be like that. Some could not look me in the eye, especially those that knew that they too were guilty of sometimes engaging in obscene or frivolous talk. From that day onwards, when I would enter a room in which people were engaged in such talk and they would see me coming, a hush would come upon them and their conversation would dry up. Their attitude would change and they suddenly would begin to speak of things more fitting for a Christian. At the onset, I was somewhat embarrassed, but then began to see the humour in it all.
The negative side of it, if I may call it negative, was that a separation developed between me and many of my old-time friends. We still tried to enjoy one another’s company as we had done in the past, but somehow, in the unseen world of the Spirit, we had moved miles apart and no amount of natural goodwill could bridge that gap. We now were in different worlds, in two different kingdoms. There was a border post between us, a customs office, and heavenly passports were required for them to cross over to my side. Many of them were good people, as good people go in this world. Yes, they were good people, but not God’s people and the distance between good people and God’s people is as far as the East is from the West. These have very little in common. They serve two different gods. The one serves the Creator of the universe and His son Jesus, the Saviour of mankind; the other serves the king of this present darkness, the lord of the kingdoms of this world and never will light and darkness be able to blend. As I grew in insight into the ways of God and as I yielded myself to the working of the Spirit, I just gently drifted away from them, further and further, as a cloud moved by the wind is detached from the mountain top and moves towards it’s destination way beyond the horizon.
Some of them made an effort to maintain our old friendship and invited me to birthday celebrations of the men on our staff. We would then go to a nearby hotel and they would have a boisterous boozing party. I would walk around, sit around sipping a beer, but my heart was no longer in it. At times we all had to gather around the birthday boy singing songs like “Drink it down, down, down” and I would stand there with a sickly smile on my face, being physically within the group, but no longer emotionally part of it. At that stage I felt that it was the right thing for me to do to attend such parties. I felt that in that way I might be able to influence them for Christ, but I later discovered that very little was to be gained in that way and that I was actually just endangering my walk with God.
I was amongst them, but no longer part of them. In my heart I was longing to get home, checking my watch every now and then, burning to get back to the Christian book lying at my bedside. God had uprooted me from the old garden in which I had been growing and bearing the fruit of unrighteousness for twenty-nine years and transplanted me into His new spiritual paradise. So gradually I was moving further and further away from my old friends and actually becoming a very lonely man amongst the hundreds of men amongst whom I was working. God’s people, the friends of Jesus, often are lonely people as seen in the Book of Hebrews.
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